How to Breathe in Uncharted Times: A Case Study

When I encounter the unknown, the unpredictability of it, I often feel paralyzed. I felt some of this upon graduating from YDS with no fixed career plan in place. I felt it even more when, less than a year later, everyone’s lives upended in a global pandemic. I even felt this paralysis when trying to host a Zoom meeting for the first time. Some paralyzing events are microscopic: my heart skips a beat. Other occasions are all-consuming: my mind goes blank.

Beyond the microbiome of my body, this “embodied pause” has been a constant companion in my vocational path. Perhaps paths would be a better term. Or multi-vocational. To inhabit the life I live is to carry a rotating collection of vocational hats. I have a sweatshirt that says Yale Divinity School, a T-shirt that says Yale Institute of Sacred Music, and an actual hat, in red plaid, brandishing the words: Yale Forestry. My first few years after graduation, whenever I would find myself at a figurative crossroads, I would often ask: which hat is best suited for the space I am about to enter? There is only enough room, I told myself, for one version of Anna at a time. Anna of Religion, Anna of Ecology, or Anna of the Arts.

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